It's an incredibly overwhelming feeling of confusion and doubt that I'm feeling right now. After school I took a year out because I hated school with every bone in my body and I need a break to pace myself for the rest of my life. So I just spent the last year in art college which kind of made me hate the only thing I love and has made me doubt myself more than any woman should.
I don't know if now's the time to go back, if I should defer it for the year, if I should never go back to that college, or if simply, college isn't for me. I'm starting to think it's the latter, but I want to learn and I want to learn so badly. I know I have so much to give when in the right setting but I don't think college is the place for me, and without many connections I'm just going to end up stuck in a complete rut in some job in retail for the rest of the foreseeable future. I want more than that for myself, and I know my family want me to go back to college but I really don't see where I've studied for the last year as the right place for me.
AAAH MAN, I THINK I NEED ANOTHER YEAR OUT.
At least I know now that friends wise, I'm the happiest I've ever been. I have people I love and people who I (hope!) love me back. I smile so much more and I know I've people I can talk to and people that I've got a real connection with and I'm not ready to leave them yet.
I went to Russia in January with college & here are some photos. I've never been in a more beautiful place. Someday I'd love to live there.
(Disclaimer*:As these are old, anyone who knows me will have probably seen them already. To those that have and are like 'Oh bleh, we don't want to see them again. Don't you take any other photos?':YOU CANNOT FATHOM THE IMMENSITY OF THE FUCK I DO NOT GIVE). I'll post new shit when I actually do something interesting & can be arsed putting up pics. I think I'm bailing on going to Electric Picnic because festivals are expensive and I think myself and Edel are just going to organize a group of us to get together and go camping or something.
Barry, James Kav and myself are on the search for a gaf back in Dublin at the moment. We're gonna live in one house and the others (Jake, Edel, Dean & James) are living in another.
There's not much on daft right now but if anyone knows of anywhere cheap (that doesnt involve squatting because I'm not quite ready for that) & is pretty central, giz a bell. The 3 of us want our own rooms & doublé beds obv cos we love sleeping.
Here are some ideas of the kind of houses we think would suit us:
I miss all my friends so fucking much! I've been in isolation for the last week and only got out for a few hours on Sunday night. I'm loling so much with Edel over the interweb but it just ain't the same. I want this poxy summer to end so I can get a gaff & chill the fuck out.
Edel is a Daddylonglegs. Therefore she is not female.
As pointed out by James yesterday, why do people feel the need to tell everyone they're gona do drugs on facebook. Good for you but no one cares what mephedrone equivalent you're on now. Everyones past the dribbling idiot stage of their lives and it's been buried a long time ago. These people just seem like complete knobs and the sad thing is they're actually good people. Grow up lads, you're better without it.